Secrets Revealed
by Lady Razeli
Summary: Gabrielle and Iolaus learn about their best friends secret life. Will they convinced them to stop they're destructive ways or will they be sucked into Herc and Xe's secret life?
1. Do you have any weed?

Secrets Revealed

By

Lady Razeli

Disclaimer: I do not own X:WP, MCA Universal Studios does.

Do you have any weed?

Xena woke up early as usual. She rose and looked around. The Perimeter was of course secure, and Gabrielle was still asleep. A cow bell couldn't wake her up. Xena sighed. It had been another boring night. No parties, no men, no alcohol, and no weed. Oh she hated a day without weed. She'd ran out. And her supplier was all the way in Rome. He wouldn't be back until the annual party, and that had already happened this year. She had her own personal supply, which she grew, but that got destroyed earlier this year when an army attacked Amphipolis. She whooped some ass than. She'd have to settle down in Amphipolis for awhile if she even wanted to good kind of weed she'd had before.

"Ares!" Xena called after she'd taken her morning swim and fished. Ares appeared in front of her.

"Do you have any weed?" They asked at the same time.

"Damn!" They exclaimed.

"What happen to your personal supply?" Ares asked.

"Destroyed by one of your damn armies."

"Which one I'll kill them." Ares said.

"Dragan's." said Xena."This is a cryin' out loud damn shame. Hey why don't we go to our supplier."

"That guy is hard to reach even to a god. " said Ares."He's got some powerful magic on his side to keep him hidden for the most part. If the authorities got a hold of him we'd all be screwed. I mean look at us now. We're talking to each other."

"By the gods we are," groaned Xena. That year so many people suffered as their supplier was attacked by the authorities. Destroyed all his supply. And there was only one time a year when the supply could be gotten again to last him at least five years. And now there was a strict one time a year you could find and buy it from him.

"I will not get mad." Xena said to herself. She got mad. She whooped some ass.


	2. Lagging sidekicks and the deliver

Lagging sidekicks and the deliver

"Damn it we better get there soon," Hercules complained. It was nearly time for the party and he hadn't smoked weed in over a year. There had been more fights than usual. Mainly because he started them before finishing them. Like Gabrielle Iolaus had no idea why Hercules was doing these things. Xena walked up beside him with Argo.

"If luck is with us we should get there in another hour, but if not at least we'll get to kill something," Xena grunted.

"Hear hear to that." Xena nodded than turned back to Iolaus and Gabrielle. They were lagging behind Hercules and herself. She stopped angry at the two. Hercules stopped seeing her stop ready to quickly dispose of some stupid bandits.

"What?" Hercules asked. She said nothing. He looked where she was looking and saw the two sidekicks lagging behind.

"Of all the days to lag behind he chooses today!" Hercules fumed. He turned to Xena who was now scribbing something on a scroll." What are you..."

"Get on Argo," Xena ordered rolling up the scroll. She threw the scroll knocking Iolaus to the ground before getting on Argo in front of Hercules and galloping off down the rode.

"What did you do?" Hercules asked a little concerned for his friend, but it quickly disappeared when he remembered him lagging behind.

"I told them we'd meet up with them in the town, because we had important business to attend to and they were taking forever."

"Good, they should be there by tomorrow the way they're acting." Xena nodded as the town came into view. The beloved Athens. Once they had gotten rooms in the hotel where the annual party was and accommodated their friends at the local inn to avoid them being party squashers they went in search of their favorite guy.

"I've spotted the deliver," Xena muttered to Hercules as they walked around Athens market. Hercules spoke of some nonsense acknowledging her words. As if by accident and pure curiosity they wandered into his tent.

"What can I do for you my children?" He asked disguised as a Buddist Monk selling religious charms and what now.

"We're looking for Enlightenment, but we're also looking for a Spiritual journey, " Xena responsed. Out of code that meant she was looking for your regular everyday weed and than she wanted the type of weed that'd make you think you were somewhere else when you were really sittin' on your ass or when you were asleep your dreams got crazier in a good way.

"We're also looking for charms to ward off wild people that party late into the night for our homes." In other words he wanted that Mary Jane that would really mess you up especially at a party.

"Oh and we want charms of laughter for children." The man nodded.

"Would each like your on charm or shall I just create a package for you to share."

"Each we haven't gotten to the part where we start sharing everything yet." The man nodded and provided them with cover items.

"Oh do you have seeds for a beautiful garden full of those small peaceful trees you handsome monks aways grow?" Xena asked. He included that with her package. They gave him the small fee, but under the table they slipped him with a large amount of dinars they'd been saving up. They each carried two baskets back to the hotel. They were stopped only once by the authorities who noticed nothing out of the ordinary. The smell of weed of course being overpowered by several bottles of open perfume Xena had gotten.

"Oh life is so good right now." Xena rolled up a blunt of regular weed. The other weed was for other days, but today was about to be sweet.

"Whoa!" Ares exclaimed just as she was about to light it.

"What?" Xena asked pausing.

"We gotta do this together." He quickly grabbed her wrist and reappeared in Athena's temple. Hercules, Ephiny, Artemis, Aphrodite, Athena, Apollo, Solari, Eponin, Draco, Leah, Diana, and Meg were there already.

"Well come on join the circle." Xena joined the circle and a huge fire started between them they all leaned forward and than moved back taking a huge drag on their blunts before exhaling together in heaven.

"Oh hell has ended," Ephiny concluded.

"Well we must be back in heaven than," Hercules responsed.

"Oh Hestia is going to be angry with me," Leah said immediately regretting her use of weed yet again.

"Please Hestia helps grow this weed, its officially a crop," Ares replied.

"If she's mad than she obviously hasn't smoked her handy work, because in that case she need to get her ass done to the supplier and get some."

"Never had a better idea, Mortal," Hestia said appearing next to Leah. She practically fainted, but than she started bowing and kissing her feet.

"Get up girl and finish that blunt before I do, like I could ever be made at you for smoking what I helped make, you need to grow some as high priestess its your job."

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh those bastards distroyed my weed now I've got to start over." They groaned.

"Oh that just burns my cookies," Athena commented."Destroying someone elses weed should be illegal in all dimensions." Everyone nodded their agreement.


End file.
